Date: December 31, 2008
Time: 7 pm to 7 am
Place: Victoria and J.R.’s House
Event: JRfest9: Pimps and Hoes!
Welcome friends of JRfest. After 12 long months of waiting, it will be time once again to ring in the new year with a bunch of drunken perverts whom you just met. BUT WAIT, there’s more! This year we are going bigger and better by going INVITE ONLY. That’s right. We will be hand selecting the drunken perverts. No one will mess with my stereo. No one will come dressed as a used car salesman. No one will leave you in the morning while you wonder if he’s going to call you. He’ll call, or he’s off next year’s list.
Those whom I deem worthy will be given an all access pass to the biggest and most extravagant JRfest ever. We will have a shiny new stripper pole installed in our livingroom so you ladies (sorry Paul) can show us your moves. All pimps will get a roll of JRfest dollars that they can spread around to whichever lucky ho they choose. The ho with the most bucks at the end of the night will win a gift basket filled with porn and sex toys.
And, as always: free beer, free liquor, free champagne toast, free food all night, and free breakfast in the morning.
Want an invite? Beg for one in the comments below. If you describe your outfit and Victoria thinks it sounds hot, I might send one your way.
October 8, 2008 at 11:04 pm
You know you want a half naked white chick pretending to be a half naked asian chick on a stripper pole at your party…..right?!
October 10, 2008 at 3:28 pm
Yes. Yes I do.
November 24, 2008 at 1:55 pm
you know i’ll be showing up, invite or not. oh, and ill be wearing jeans and a t shirt im sure. im a middle class pimp.
December 5, 2008 at 7:35 am
I guess Swifty’s not invited then. But the good news is that leaves a spot for someone else (and Nicole will be available).
December 5, 2008 at 6:42 pm
none of those damn costume pimp outfits with the stupid leopard print hats and plastic canes. send everyone Sazzy’s way and I’ll dress them pimp-right-on. 20% off for JRFesters! just have ‘em ask for me.